For the third consecutive time, the word humility occurs in the title a Cloud chapter. In Chapters 13 and
14 Anonymous made a distinction between “perfect” and “imperfect” humility
and went on to say that we experience imperfect humility by getting to know
ourselves as we truly are. We must do hard work of coming to self-knowledge; in
so doing we grow in humility so that we’ll “know God as fully as possible on earth”
(39).
One can, however,
become preoccupied with getting to know one’s self. Yes, it is true that “those
who sin on a regular basis . . . need this sort of self-reflection. We need to examine our interior lives
carefully, perhaps at times with the help of spiritual director. But
examination of conscience and self-knowledge is only part of the whole, for “there is another,
better way [to perfect humility] that’s best for all concerned” (41).
At this point
Anonymous notes that he’s encountered two quite different kinds of
sinners. On the one hand, there are some
who are relatively “innocent” in their sinning.
Such sinners don’t seem to choose "immorality deliberately, fully aware
of the consequences; they’ve only fallen through human frailty and
ignorance.” Somewhere Thomas Merton
describes them like people driving a car at night with only one headlight
working; they’re driving dangerously but not maliciously. While they have no
intention of hurting anyone, they manage to get themselves into the ruts of
life. That's the way it is with "innocent" sinners. On the other hand, there are those
of us who have chosen “serious sin,” and if we see ourselves as belonging to this second group, we must confront our wrongs head-on--and admitting them to ourselves, to the offended, and to God--receive
forgiveness and grace. In so doing, we are rightly “called
by God to be contemplatives” (42).
To which group of
sinners have you or do you belong? Why?
Both so-called innocent and serious sinners may grow in humility, not so much by reflecting
on their weaknesses, “but by remembering God’s goodness and love.” Anonymous says that as Christians we in fact have examples of such
humility: the life and witness of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the ministry of our
Lord Jesus, and all the many saints and angels in heaven. They lived by grace, and
by grace we too can live such lives.
The last paragraph
of this chapter makes a rather remarkable observation. Anonymous says that one can conceivably live
a sinless life and yet be perfectly humble at the same time. How so?
Here’s a quotation
that resonates with the spirit of Anonymous in The Cloud:
Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect
nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against
me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or
despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut
the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of
calmness, when all around and above is trouble.
Might that be a description of what happens in Centering
Prayer as we live by grace? If so, why?
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